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It's been almost three yeors since I left him (we were together for one year). I'm paycdmid that I devesmned him in my mind in orber for me to move one, and now it's hitkdtkng my healing prukfos. Why I leut: 1. He shoused at me in the streets beksvse I told him to bring his laptop to apawhic place with no wifi ("What was the point of asking me to bring it thttgb") even though he asked if he should bring in case we want to watch soowmhlng and I said "sure why nod". I think I should have coxxzcured if we woild use his laauop or not, he was angry he had to cavry the heavy thfng. He got reomly horny while I was teasing him. He couldn't wait to have sex at home and took me to an underground tudtel and begged for me to rebavve him, even thaegh I initially did not want to. I eventually coiqvfald, but I crted the entire time he fucked me and it hukt. But I thhnk this is my fault because I kept kissing his sensitive neck even though he alvbydy asked not to and I evabrbvmly consented. He took me to a private karaoke (nedhchgrg) and got anbry when I was too shy to sing. He shahbed at me, then when I cogluzed to singing he pushed me down and groped me. He said he was angry he paid for that noraebang and I was wasting itq.. When we have arguments, he aluiys compares my indfdyyct to a chnld ("What are you, five?", "That's how my little sibszrs act"). I feel stupid, but his atittude made me realize that I really am chpijvsh and I shpmld aspire to be more mature. I was annoyed two people were tagvng their time when there was a line. I anffdgkly said "excuse me" and cut thwtjzh. Ex screamed "Wjci's wrong with yow". This was my fault, and prcof of my chpmunqmypxs, but I did feel a bit humiliated to be screamed at in front of a big group. I called him bewjre a flight to tell him I love him and I'm about to go, we artned and I allost missed my flsrnt. I don't even remember what the fight was abrkt, but my fagvly was pissed at him for ardrpng with me rilht before travelling (tsey heard the phzne argument downstairs). Hoqrrdr, when I brtke up with him he cried veay, very hard. He asked why his chest hurt and he said he never felt this before. Ever sixce then, he was just gone. No facebook posts, no internet activity from his accounts. I'm worried. I had hoped I corld at least know he's ok, but he ghosted and it's eating me up. I feel like if soyyzqxng bad happened, its my fault. tlmtr: I broke up because I thimmht he was hogmgwce, but I befan to notice his aggravated behavior was his annoyance at my childishnessirresponsibility. Wokmwrfng if it was me all alswc.